Separation Anxiety Round II

Now it's starting all over again.

I went through this half a decade ago when Son1 started his nursery. I am going through this RIGHT NOW with Son2 in his new nursery. And in another 2 years' time, Son3's turn. Pant.

Round II, this time, is not easier than Round I.

I recalled my Mom used to tell me how sticky I was to her when I was a little girl. I was cared for by a stayhome babysitter. I remembered her unit was directly beside the lift landing where I knew my mom will come through at about 4pm daily. So, according to my Mommy dearest, I was so bright, though I couldn't read the clock as yet then. I would park myself promptly at the door, just about 345pm or so. I faithfully eyed the lift. Once I see my Mom, I would shout out and would not stop till she picks me up and bring me home. *hee hee hee*

Guess that was cute for a while. Till my Mom decide that she should take the other lift at the opposite end of the block. Though it was a longer route home, she took it anyway. So as to avoid me. How cruel.

Well, it is pay back time now. To the power of 3. Pant.

Son1 calls himself "Mommy's brain" (since I tend to forget things and would 'borrow' his brain to remember grocery list). So, whenever and wherever I go out, I have to bring him.

Son2 calls himself "Mommy's shadows"; he follows me everywhere I walk, even at home. Except the bathroom; he parks himself outside, intermittently knocking on my door, reminding me of his presence.

Son3, blessed is he. An infant still he may be but come nighttime, he too, will wail and search for me with his little round eyes. You can see just how he relaxes and settles back in once I carry him over.

These are the days where your children are needy and sticky. But it won't last long, many well-meaning older mother-friends will tell you. One day, slowly but surely, they will grow up and leave. Even the Principal during the Orientation said, "Mommies, step back and let the Daddies do their jobs. These young boys will gravitate towards their fathers as they grow... come P3 or P4, they will LOOK UP and LOOK FOR their fathers..."...

"Oh don't worry. They won't forget you. They will still come to you,... but for different things."

I wonder what those 'different things' are.

So for now, I shall cherish these moments and carve them deeply in my memory -- whatever space there is left. I shall remember your tears, Sons,... your clinging to me like monkeys to the tree... your sticky, slimy mucus and tears all over me... your suffocating hugs and wet kisses... your MOMMMMMMY, come..."...

Now,... Who's having the separation anxiety?! *sob*